Do yo
u weigh every morning? I do. Through thick or thin, I step on that monster every morning because eventually you stop seeing a monster and just see a number. And the number doesn’t always mean much at all. Because weight fluctuates, often for no apparent reason. It is just a health guideline, but it is not an absolute. That said, it is amazing at the emotions that still come up when stepping on the scale. With all that I’ve learned and all that I intellectually know, the number on the scale can still bring up thinking that brings up emotions. Much less than it used to. But still, if I see a jump up in my weight, I have lots of thoughts about that. When it jumps down, even just a tiny bit – I get a little happy. When you really look at, face value, how ridiculous is it that I react like that to a lump of metal and glass.
Lately, the scale has stay consistently the same – or very close to it. This, for me, is a triumph. Not that I am at my healthy weight – there are still pounds to drop. But for decades I have been either going up or going down. That was my only constant – I was either dieting down or thinking, “oh, what does it matter” and the scale was going up. You’d think it would creep up to a certain point and then stay there at “top weight.” But no. It has always just continued to go up unless I put on the brakes, signed up for the latest diet, and started making myself eat things I didn’t necessarily like. This is not a optimal pattern for a happy life. It also causes an overflowing closet because of the number of various sizes in there.
For the last year, my weight has stayed the same (within a couple of pounds). It is not at my heaviest – indeed, quite a few pounds have stayed gone. But my body has stayed at one weight for the first time since I cannot remember. I’m really happy with how I feel about food and eating because I keep the hunger scale in mind and avoid overfilling myself. Right now, this is enough. Finally, it is enough. I do want to drop more weight, purely for health reasons, and I will. But I am approaching it ever so cautiously now, knowing what I know. You do not study eating psychology without beginning to learn caution and understanding the effects of strenuous dieting. So no starving and no trying to figure out exactly how many carbs and how many grams of fat, etc. This is the road to obsession, and for me, has proven to be the road to failure every time (the weight has always returned).
So ask yourself if obsessing about your food and your weight has gained you anything of value in your life. What would your life be without constantly thinking about food and your weight? What would it feel like to be without those thoughts? Who would you be without those thoughts? Here’s a hint: You probably would not be at your “top weight.”
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