The song is actually “A Little Piece of Me.” Either way sounds appropriate for where my thoughts have wandered this morning. I wanted to write it all out to my friend, John, but always my brain has the thought that I am probably bothering him with my long missives. I know – nonsense. I still do not understand why my mind plays that thought. But never mind – I digress. It is about bits of people this morning.

You see, I think I’m so fiercely independent. When I find myself picking up on someone else mannerism, I disdain it. I do not want to “copy” someone else for God’s sake. But this morning, another view came to me as I sat down at my reading table in the living room with a cup of coffee to savor. Taking such extreme care over making that cup of coffee is something Jim taught me. Allowing others to become a part of my personality means they become a part of me. They are also a conglomeration of all the people they’ve encountered in life. So all of them also live on in me.

You can take comfort in all the parts of your personality that were shaped by those are no longer here. Sometimes I see my mum. She’s in every damn cup of tea I pour – every house fly that I call out to “You bugger!”

When I roll my eyes and smirk, my dad looks out on the world again. When I dig in my garden and smile over the smell of the soil; dad.

So very many times a day, Jim is still here. Squirrels making a cacophony of scolding out in the backyard makes me run to the window, hands on hips, dramatically saying, “What is THIS?’

Every cup of cappuccino, he’s with me.

Even underlining in my books now. It was something he did that I had hated. Initially, I was just horrified to see him freely defacing books. Then I was even more miffed when I tried to read a book after it had been in his hands because it prevented me from forming my own opinion about what was important in the book. His underlines were a reading distraction. He would puff up with ego and say, “I’ve already found the important parts for you – don’t bother reading the rest. Just read the parts I’ve underlined.” I would petulantly toss the book down and stomp off (yes, still a teenage girl in middle age and even probably now. What can I say?). But now I find myself reaching for a pen to underline a passage I want to be able to find again in the book, and I smile to myself because I know Jim is just over my shoulder, dancing about, pointing and laughing.

My view on picking up a mannerism, a turn of phrase, a gesture or a new thought from someone else I admire has entered a new paradigm. Now I strive to emulate and carry with me the people who are special in my life forever. I moved through my morning noticing the various people who show up in my day and taking great pleasure in knowing they are all still with me. They are quite a crowd actually. To this day though, I think my mother is here most strongly. Especially when I thought I would absolutely not mimic someone else and fought for fierce independence of personality. All the times I resisted integrating others into my personality, mom was right there. There is no resisting this. So let it delight you and know that you never alone in life.