WHERE ARE YOU ON YOUR HERO’S JOURNEY?
THE HERO’S JOURNEY may not be the first thing that springs to mind when your spouse dies. But it indeed sets you on the path of this mythic structure. We do have a choice and that is to let the trauma of the loss propel us into new growth or to give up and stop at any point along the journey. Many widows do the latter.
The first part of this journey is the “ordinary world.” Unlike the traditional “Hero’s Journey,” we bypass any decision to take part in this journey. Our spouse passes away and we are instantly standing at the edge of “Special World” which doesn’t feel so special, by the way. Here lies tests, allies and enemies. You may withdraw back into the innermost cave of your soul when you are faced with this ordeal. I know I did for a while. I was just trying to get from one day to the next, you know?
You may indeed stay there for a long, long time until you can find the courage to grab the hero’s sword. For me, that was when I decided to leave the corporate world, travel across the country for 2 weeks and begin the study that lead to my life coach certification. Taking that step was putting my foot on “the road back.” Making a decision to for your future is exactly that – it is putting your foot on the road back to who you are.
Oh, the journey did not stop there – not by a long shot! I was challenged daily for the next few years as I built what I wanted to create in the world. The process has been like undergoing “mini versions” of the Hero’s Journey over and over. I’m trying to find what works, evaluating every attempt and refining what I’m doing to keep trying again and again. That’s how you achieve that “resurrection” on your own road back to who you are.
What I want to know right now is what you think about the parallel of the hero’s journey with this process of learning to live our life after loss. Where are you on this path of the hero? How many feel they are still incubating in that inner cave? I would love to hear your comments in our Facebook community, “Widowed Book Club.” If you have not already joined us there, just click the “Join Group” button below to get in on the conversation.
