“And in hindsight now, I know how much of my life I wasted on this obsession. How much of my energy was wasted on hating myself – hating my body – and blaming myself for failure after failure.”

 

Winter training walk in sweatshirt and throwing punches

What do I have to offer that a zillion other weight loss books, programs, coaches, shakes, all do not offer? Besides the fact that study after study shows that dieting does not in fact work – period. I’m in it with you. That’s it. Sound ridiculously simple? It’s not. It’s hard. I would love to sit here in a size 4 dress and tell you all how fabulous it is to be thin and successful. Except for one thing. I’ve never really trusted the word of anyone thin trying to tell me what I’m doing wrong that I’m not thin. Do you know what I’m saying? How many times I sat down to listen to weight loss wisdom from someone who is fabulously slim and then hear them say, “And I lost TEN pounds!” Okay – like dropping the water weight after surgery or giving birth?

I don’t even want someone who lost more than 100 pounds unless this was truly a repeated life-time struggle. But a few that I’ve encountered – it was the first time they tried to take off the weight – and they did it. That is truly amazing and kudos to them. But they really have no idea what it is that I struggle with – none. How on earth could that person advise me on how to break the obsessing and the cycles of losing and regaining CONSTANTLY. I was never 300 lbs. But that is because of this life-long obsession and struggle.

I’ve spent a lifetime numbing out my emotions with food – struggling with overeating and hating myself for nearly every bite that went into my mouth. I’ve lost weight, over and over. A few times I’ve lost large amounts of weight. One time, I lost down to an incredibly tiny size. Every time, the weight came right back on. No maintenance to speak of. My maintenance looked something like this: Up 3 lbs – crap, starve me and see it inch back down, eat a normal meal and up 2 lbs. Feel defeated and regain another pound or two. REALLY cut back, freaked out – afraid to eat a morsel. Drop back 2 lbs, but still now up 3. Eventually the stress, mental drama, and white knuckle willpower all caves. You cannot keep up that mental game forever. Weight returns to where it was and then adds 5, 10, or even 15 more pounds.

Over and over, year after year.  It has been emotionally draining. And in hindsight now, I know how much of my life I wasted on this obsession. How much of my energy was wasted on hating myself – hating my body – and blaming myself for failure after failure.

Never more. That is done for me. It is the first gift I want to give you. I want to show you how to find your way back from that horrible mental state. I also want you to know that you can lose some weight and then maintain it while eating instinctively – enjoying how you feed yourself. Loving life. I’ve done it now for over a year. Never before in my memories of my lifetime has my weight stayed the same for over a year without any dietary manipulation. It feels incredible.

You can listen to my entire episode about getting vulnerable about weight loss on Weight Coach podcast by clicking the button below!  Subscribe and get new episodes first!

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©2018 Joann Filomena

©2018 Joann Filomena